I’ll be honest with you: at my house, this has been a hard year on the parenting front.
I’ll wager that the same has been true for you, too: between lost childcare, Zoom schooling, trying to work from home, and shuttered playgrounds, libraries, and museums, nearly every parent I know has struggled mightily this year. The stress of the pandemic has brought out the very worst in my parenting at times: far more often than I’d like to admit, I’ve been the irritable, shout-y mom that, before having kids, I swore I’d never be. I know I’m not alone. The protracted slog of 2020 been a recipe for poor mental health for parents and children, even for those of us with a rich toolbox of coping mechanisms.
If there has been any silver lining to the pandemic, though, it has been having more time and space to connect with the natural world because of more time spent outside. Without exception, the moments when I’ve felt most connected to my children over the past year have been moments spent in connection with the natural world.
Throughout the spring and summer, the twins spent hours outside searching for tiny living creatures: there were praying mantises, earthworms, snails, katydids, tadpoles, crayfish, and dragonflies. (Whenever I’d ask Milo if he wanted to name any of his found creatures, they would each inevitably be named “Milo.”) In August and September, they insisted on bringing a small tribe of black swallowtail caterpillars into the house, and several times, we got to witness the spectacular process of the caterpillars’ transformation into butterflies from the comfort of our kitchen. In November, Milo found a magnificent bright-orange marbled orb weaver spider.
And through these past few December weeks, we’ve gotten up early several times, wrapped ourselves in blankets, and watched the sunrise from the front porch: there is something magic about the quality of early morning, almost-winter light. These moments of connection and wonder have been the glue of our family this year, and I don’t take any of them for granted.
As the year winds down, it feels fitting to honor nature’s extraordinary gifts with a ritual of intentional reflection. I’ll be taking this ritual to my journal, but if your kids are old enough, the questions offered below might feed a family discussion; you could explore them with a partner, as well. Might I suggest, if the weather allows, heading outside for this practice? Bring your coziest blanket and a favorite hot drink. Talk as you watch the sun rise with someone you love.
Questions for reflection:
- How has the pandemic impacted your relationship with nature over the past year? What gifts or challenges have been present?
- What moments of awe, reverence, or connection with the natural world stand out to you from the past year? What moments or experiences have you savored?
- In what ways did you honor your values around the environment this year?
- In what ways did it feel challenging to honor your values around the environment this year?
- As you look into 2021, what changes might you want to make in terms of your relationship to the natural world? Are there new habits or practices you’d like to adopt? New forms of environmental activism or stewardship? New or more intentional ways of connecting with nature?
I’m looking forward to sharing some of my own “eco-intentions” for 2021 in coming blog posts, and I’d love to hear what intentions arise for you as you reflect on the year. How has 2020 influenced your relationship with the natural world? What lessons will you take with you into the coming months?